Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Yesterday - Jan. 3. 2011

January 3, 2000 -- our first miscarriage
January 3, 2011 -- eleven years later

Why do I know this date? I don't know. I have the memory and can't seem to forget it.

Back in 2000 it was so sad and painful and surreal to have a miscarriage. I didn't know people had them. Since then we have had 2 more miscarriages and 3 precious children. Each year the memory actually gets harder. The more children we have and the older they get the sadder it is to think we have lost 3. Back then, I didn't know what I was missing. Now I know and it breaks my heart to think about it.

We named the 3 we lost -- Caleb, Hannah and Peter. I finally go a day or more without thinking about them. This is a recent development. I used to think about at least once a day. I wasn't dwelling on the past and wondering why. I just remembered.

I praise the Lord for the 3 little ones we have now and what a blessing they are to us.

NCG has a song that sums it all up "Oh my Child". The line that gets me every time is "It's hard to let just as soon as you know you've been given a life."

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